Save Melting Glaciers - Donate a Tray of Ice

I'm sincerely worried about global warming and the melting glaciers, which we have been told is the result of human carbon emissions. We must do something to stop this ice recession and reverse a 14,000 year pattern, that we foolishly used to think was a natural occurrence after the last glacial period.

Therefore, I am announcing a plan, eligible for federal grants, I hope, to rebuilt the glaciers! We will use ice cubes donated by American people and we will show the world that we care.

Here's how it works!

Step 1: Freeze a tray of ice.
Step 2: Take the ice out of the tray and put it in a large envelope.
Step 3: Mail the envelope to our collection station in McAllen, Texas. (G.M. has the address.)

From there, we will put the ice cubes together and send them north to rebuild the glaciers that have retreated soley due to mankind's neglect of Mother Earth. We need to treat our mother better.

It's as simple as that!

If you cannot mail the ice cubes but want to make a financial contribution, then mail $50 to our collection station in Atlanta, Georgia (I know that address), and we will make an ice cube for you and will inscribe your name on it, just like they do bricks in parks.

If someone sends me $50,000, then I will name an entire glacier for you! But, we will accept any contributions for lesser amounts.

Don't waste your money buying those doo-wop CD's to support public television. Send it to a cause that makes a difference! In fact, you may be able to take a deduction for the cost of the ice as a charitable contribution on your tax return! Call it a gift of a frozen asset.

We need a name for this program--maybe one that is an acronym. Something like ICE or International Climate Effort. What do you think?!

Bloggers, spread the word! We'll have a multi-level marketing program that can make you rich if you sign up early and freeze out your competitors. Ha Ha.

Take this as seriously as I do. To paraphrase John Lennon, give ice a chance!