July 25, 2005
Jane Fonda: Out of Iraq or my bus runs you over! (If it doesn't run out of oil first.)
Jane Fonda, who did a stint in Viet Nam, is calling for the withdrawal of U.S. military forces from Iraq and will kick off her "anti-war movement" with a national bus tour.
In announcing her coming out, she said, "I have not taken a stand on any war since Vietnam. I carry a lot of baggage from that." (Hey, Jane. You could have dumped some of that baggage had you ever admitted that you were wrong and actually apologized. We are a forgiving people for those who are truly sorry.)
However, for this new bus tour, I have some questions for Ms. Fonda:
1. Will your bus come equipped with an anti-aircraft gun for photo-ops?
2. While your bus will run on vegetable oil, wouldn't it be cheaper to burn a fuel that you produce in great quantities -- Bull &%!+ ?
3. Will John Kerry get out and help you push the bus when it runs out of fuel, and could we face a new oil war--one against the farmers for vegetable oil?
4. Also, will John Kerry be helping your movement by conducting secret negotiations with Sadam Hussein?
5. Since the enemy beheads POWs, how will you be able to betray them?
6. Can we look forward to an appendix to your book "My Life So Far" or will you just tell us to re-read it from the beginning since you're repeating history?
7. Will your bus make it over the water to Baghdad and will Ted Kennedy be available to drive that leg?
8. Please, please...once you leave Atlanta on this tour, will you stay gone for good...and take the run-away-bride with you?
Readers, please help Jane Fonda plan her trip and tell her where to go.
Posted by GM Roper at July 25, 2005 01:20 PM | TrackBackGreat post, Woody! My favorites are #2, 5, and 8...especially 2 - I'm still laughing!
Posted by HE!D! at July 26, 2005 06:30 PM