July 07, 2007

How To Get A Good Haircut And Save $387.00

Dear Senator Edwards,
Unfortunately, you have been the butt of far to many jokes about your hair, so, I thought I'd step in and give you a hand. Lord knows, right now you need it. Your fund raising is down, you are being laughed at, and people with little or no hair seem envious. The poor, whom you have always championed are aghast that you spend $400.00 on a tonsorial job, let alone fly a stylist down to Atlanta at the cost of $1250.00. Why, that would provide, at today's prices some 125 haircuts for the poor. They have to look nice too don't you think?

At any rate, I live in a fairly poor section of the United States, one of the poorest as a matter of fact. Your rival Hillary, and years ago her husband Bill (you remember Bill don't you Senator?) came to our little section of south Texas and raised millions of dollars for their campaigns, I suspect that you will too. Of course, leaving that money in the valley would do more to help the poor, but you have to run your campaign the way you think best Senator. Just ask Amanda Marcotte and Melissa McEwan. At any rate, as I said, I'm sure you will be down to the Rio Grande Valley to take money for yourself that could better be used elsewhere raise funds for your campaign at some time, and I have a couple of suggestions.

This is where I go for my hair styling. Yes, it really is a barbershop and yes, it really does have a red, white and blue striped barber pole out front and yes, there are old magazines, new newspapers, pictures of John Wayne and Pancho Villa and upside down horse shoes on the walls. There is even old Fearless Fosdic advertising Wildroot Hair Tonic on the wall. Johnny's is everything a barbershop should be. Now, of course I don't expect you to believe me when I say that I go there and have gone there for years. So, I thought I'd show you a picture of me sitting in a chair in Johnny's getting ready to have my hair cut. You see Senator, while I'm not poor, I just can't imagine spending $200.00 to $400.00 dollars for a hair cut, let alone fly a stylist anywhere so I can look nice for the ladies and the cameras. So, I spend about $10.00 for a haircut plus about a $2.00 or $3.00 tip, and of course, I tip because Johnny trims the hair out of my ears, makes my eyebrows look less bushy and at the end, uses his very strong hands to massage the back of my neck for a minute or so and believe me, though that might be worth an extra fin, he doesn't charge for it. and, as you can tell from my hair in the second photo, I absolutely need a hair cut.

Oh, In case I haven't told you about Johnny, let me tell you a few things about him. First, he is really a terrific fellow. He is always interested in bettering himself, and towards this end, takes college courses from time to time as money and interest allows. You see, Johnny's not a rich fellow either, he just believes in doing an honest amount of work for an honest dollar. I first met Johnny back in 1994 when he was a student in one of the courses I taught at the local Community College (Psychology if you must know). So, I've known Johnny for a few years and I think the world of him. You ought to get to know Johnny and quite a few more like him. I'd bet it would shake your belief in someone that charges $400.00 for a hair cut. But, Senator I digress. At Johnny's you could save $387.00 if you went to Johnny's when you get down here and then you could donate the difference to say The Food Bank where it might help poor people more than rhetoric does. And, you would even get a tax deduction. AND, if I may be so bold, you could even use that in your campaign against Hillary who asked for a deduction based on giving Bills "used silk underwear" to charity. That ought to be worth something don't you think?

But, again, I don't expect you to believe what I'm saying just because I, a lowly blogger says it, I would expect you to want to see "proof positive, that the cut is worth every bit of the $400.00 that you spent, but it only cost me $13.00 (including the tip of course). So you see Senator, you could turn back all the laughter and smirks at your expense by following my little bit of advice. Won't you think about it?

Oh, and Senator, you could save a few bucks on your house too. Like I said, I'm not poor, but I'm not wealthy either. I built the Mantle Clock you see peeking behind my right shoulder and, I made the Mantle Piece over the fire place too. Just think of how much you could save.

Posted by GM Roper at July 7, 2007 03:52 PM | TrackBack

Still beating the drum on this non-substantive issue, eh?

Posted by e. nonee moose at July 8, 2007 06:35 AM

Nope Moose, just making fun of the dweeb! Besides, I'm only "beating the drum on this non-substantive issue" if you take me (and him) seriously. ;-)

Posted by GM Roper at July 8, 2007 06:37 AM

"Why, that would provide, at today's prices some 125 haircuts for the poor."


GM, I still have all my hair (and then some, if one includes facial, back and chest hair :-)), and $10 would MORE than cover the cost of my haircuts for the past 40 years... and more, since I began giving myself haircuts nigh onto 40 years ago (and had ONE in a barber's chair, before a sister's wedding... in Juarez, Mexico, during that 40 years).

Yeh, yeh: I know some folks are confused by that mirror thing and find cutting their own a tad daunting, but heck, I'd rather buy a few good beers than hand good $$ to some guy with scissors...

Too bad The Breck Girl never learned a lil bit of tightwaddery...


Posted by David Needham at July 8, 2007 11:47 AM

Edwards might stay away from my barber shop like a vampire is warded off by garlic. It has an American flag and flags of all the military services flying outside.

Posted by Woody at July 9, 2007 08:14 AM

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