June 12, 2006
For Those Of Us Nearing Senior Citizen Status
Elvis, had he lived would be 70 this year. All of us who actually remember "The Pelvis" are getting up there too. In fact, none of us are getting younger and in that light:
Are you lonesome tonight?
Does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your mylanta and tums?
Does your memory stray,
To that bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth and your gums?
Is your hairline receding? Does your back give you pain?
Your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her,
And its prostate for him.
Do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Is your blood pressure up?
Good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit,
Metamucil to boot.
Helps you run like
A well oiled machine.
If it's football or baseball,
He sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it's at
But forgets what it's for.
So your gallbladder's gone,
But your gout lingers on,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
When you're hungry, he's not,
When you're cold, he is hot,
Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light,
He goes left and you go right,
Then you get his great symphonic snore.
He was once so romantic,
So witty and smart;
How did he turn out to be such
A cranky old fart?
So don't take any bets,
It's as good as it gets,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building.
You are such a pleasure; this is such a fun and creative way to think about this. Not that I'm old enough to remember him, of course...
Posted by Cao at June 12, 2006 06:28 PM
Gm, i like the post. One thing, though: did the blue large font tag go unclosed and format the entire page,or did you knowingly change the page formatting?
just checking!
later, Rob
Posted by QuickRob at June 12, 2006 07:17 PM
QuickRob... "Oops!"
(corrected but too tired to look for the extra tag tonight)
Posted by GM Roper at June 12, 2006 07:59 PM
Elvis? Isn't he the father of a girl who married Michael Jackson?
Posted by Woody at June 12, 2006 07:59 PM
George, does that last "p" in the code need a slash in front of it?
Posted by Woody at June 12, 2006 08:03 PM
Good one, GM.
I started to use the acronym for laugh out loud, but your operating platform, like mine, is occasionally somewhat parsimonious and has informed me that that abbreviation constitutes "questionable content" and therefore I cannot get my comment posted with those 3 letters included in it. :-)
****
I've opted for the E-Z way out -- the less docs I come into professional contact with, the less problems they can tell me I have to address.
I only hope grumpiness never sets in.
Posted by Seth at June 13, 2006 02:12 AM
I don't believe in ko-inky-dinks, but I happened on this Red Buttons quote last night and now I find your post this morning. (Is someone trying to tell me something?)
""Sure I've gotten old. I've had 2 bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, but....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!!""
For all you youngsters: You probably don't know who Red Buttons is. A different era you've sadly missed.
Posted by Oyster at June 13, 2006 04:24 AM
Oyster, what a delightful quote, and Red Buttons Rules!
Posted by GM Roper at June 13, 2006 05:11 AM
I saw my wife's uncle at a family weddng recently. He still drives at age 97 and his driver's license, which he renewed through the mail, is good until age 102. I told him to call me when he starts to get on the road so that I'll stay off of it at that same time.
Posted by Woody at June 13, 2006 05:19 AM
"For all you youngsters: You probably don't know who Red Buttons is. A different era you've sadly missed."
And Red Skelton. And Victor Borge. And George Gobel. And on and on...who could compare to those guys?
Posted by Mike at June 13, 2006 07:59 AM
Yep, Mike. That was back when humor didn't consist of the "F" word. And it was still funny.
Posted by Oyster at June 14, 2006 08:15 AM
Fortunately, I have all the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts and Variety Shows on DVD, and all those greats are in and out of the 2 series. They are highly refreshing after seeing what's mostly available now.
Oyster and Mike, you said it!
Posted by Seth at June 14, 2006 09:08 AM
I love the Dean Martin Roasts! And Red Skelton too.
Oops! My age is showing.
Posted by Always On Watch at June 14, 2006 07:32 PM
Hilarious, GM! :^)
Posted by Ben USN (Ret) at June 15, 2006 02:55 AM
I forgot to mention I saw Victor Borge a few years ago. Wow. One of the best performances I've ever seen. It was good, clean humor. And the audience was hysterical.
Posted by Oyster at June 15, 2006 07:39 AM
