September 22, 2005

Suicide --- The Savage God!

I have a good friend in the blogosphere, Kit Jarrell who writes at Euphoric Reality, a political blog from the right, as I am. Recently, a good friend of hers died at his own hand and she is understandably devastated by the news, by the sense of betrayal and by remembrances of other friends who have done the same.

Suicide is difficult to comprehend for the survivors; who often feel guilty for not seeing the signs, for not being able to understand WHY, for not being omniscient enough to have seen it coming. And yet, most will get through this night, saddened, usually burdened and always a little less for the experience.

As a psychotherapist, I'm frequently helping survivors deal with the consequences of suicide. It is tough for them, and because I care about my clients, tough for me at times. The following was originally posted in 2004 and again in March of this year. It is now coming on the "holiday" season and I think, in light of a suicide of a friend of a friend, time to post it again:

This article was originally posted on my old site in December 2004. However, in light of the recent death of Hunter Thompson, and the increasing interest that his suicide caused, I thought it appropriate to re post it. So, here it is in its entirety.
Earlier this month (December 10th), Gary Webb committed suicide. Mr. Webb was the author of Dark Alliance a book about the connection between the Contra's and Drugs and the CIA. My friend Marc Cooper wrote extensively about Mr. Webb here, & here.

Suicide - the killing of one's self is a mental health issue stretching back through the millennia. Whether it be from Alexander falling on his sword, Socrates drinking hemlock or Mr. Webb, suicide hurts everyone it touches, from the victim to the victims loved ones.

The Center for Disease Control reports:


* Suicide took the lives of 30,622 people in 2001 (CDC 2004).
* Suicide rates are generally higher than the national average in the western states and lower in the eastern and midwestern states (CDC 1997).
* In 2002, 132,353 individuals were hospitalized following suicide attempts; 116,639 were treated in emergency departments and released (CDC 2004).
* In 2001, 55% of suicides were committed with a firearm (Anderson and Smith 2003).

The CDC goes on to say that women attempt suicide three times the rate of men and men complete suicide four times the rate of women. It is a grisly set of statistics, especially at this time of year when one would think that being with family, the giving and getting of expressions of love, sharing with others etc., would be a happy time for all.

And yet, and yet, this is not the case. No, is there trouble in the world, with war, famine, disease and sorrow. And for far too many, despondency.

Risk factors for suicide include the following:

  • Previous suicide attempt(s)History of mental disorders, particularly depression
  • History of alcohol and substance abuse
  • Family history of suicide
  • Family history of child maltreatment
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Impulsive or aggressive tendencies
  • Barriers to accessing mental health treatment
  • Loss (relational, social, work, or financial)
  • Physical illness
  • Easy access to lethal methods
  • Unwillingness to seek help because of the stigma attached to mental health and substance abuse disorders or suicidal thoughts
  • Cultural and religious beliefsÂâ€â€for instance, the belief that suicide is a noble resolution of a personal dilemma
  • Local epidemics of suicide
  • Isolation, a feeling of being cut off from other people

I know the feeling of despondency, of being cut off from others, of severe loss; and I know them far too intimately! In July, 1996 my first wife passed away from the complications of asthma. We were 15 days away from our 27th anniversary! As the family gathered around my daughter and me, I still felt isolated. When my wife's mother, brother and I went to our chuch to talk with the pastor about the memorial service my brother-in-law noted that my wife was no longer in pain, that we would soon enough be with her but we didn't want that now. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and my heart breaking and said "I do." I meant that then, at that time in my life. I, to this day, don't know if I would have actually attempted suicide (obviously I didn't commit it); but I do know that if I had been crossing the street I wouldn't have hurried out of the way of a car speeding towards me, so great was my despondency. I survived that time, with the support and love of my friends and family, especially the love of my daughter Jennifer. I fell in love again (though I never thought I would) and re-married and am delightfully happy once again.

Suicide has been called the Savage God by A. Alvarez in his classic book, and part of my title comes from remembering reading that tome when I was in graduate school. In my 35 plus years of mental health work, I have dealt with the family survivors of suicide time and time again and it's never easy; on the therapist or on the family. The grief, the doubt and the pain go on and on in unremitting waves. Suicide is far too often not a well thought out action, but an action of desparation, of despondency of a belief that nothing will again be better. Gary Webb doubtlessly felt this way before shooting himself.

Suicide grows out of an irrational belief that nothing will improve - and no, I'm not talking about people with an incurable disease, with an immediate future of unremitting pain and ultimate death. I'm talking about people who in the depths of depression believe that nothing will improve. Nothing could be farther from the truth! While there is life, there is hope. Suicide dashes that hope for the victim and the surviving loved ones.

It is said that depression, like any mood is cyclical, that is that our moods go up and down in a normal fashion with a fairly predictable regularity. Clinical depression on the other hand is a gross exaggeration of this cycle. A psychiatrist friend of mine explained it once as waking up in the morning feeling lousy and down. Going to work someone notices and says "What's wrong?" to which you sigh and reply "I'm depressed!" The other person says "It's OK, things will get better" and sure enough, after a few days or a week or so it does. But depression, real depression is much more complex and much greater than just the "blues."

Depression is often mistakenly thought to be caused by one or more of the following:

  • Depression is the result of a medical condition involving an imbalance of hormones or neurotransmitters in the brain.
  • Depression is the result of "bad" thinking processes.
  • Depression is a result of significant psychological/physical trauma and it's aftermath.

The Depression Learning Path here has a terrific bit of information regarding depression. Read it all.

Depression is not the "cause" of suicide though, even if it is often directly and unavoidably linked to depression. I once had a patient who had lost her husband and two children in separate accidents a couple of years apart, lost her business and managed to cope with it all. She became depressed and had persistent thoughts of death and dying when her pet dog died. So, how did she cope with true tragedy but "fall apart" when a pet died? Perhaps it was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. Perhaps it was the time of year, perhaps her pet's death occurred as she was starting to realize the extent of her previous losses. I don't know. I do know that with the help of a psychiatrist and counseling she was able to recover and become a fully functioning happy person again.

The loss of belief in a future, despondency too often leads to suicide. For the family of the suicide, the resulting guilt and belief that they could have prevented it is wide spread, almost universal. There are warning signs, but they are not always present, and often the person contemplating suicide goes to great lengths to keep anyone from realizing what is about to happen. SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education) has a great Question & Answer section on suicide, causes, prevention etc. I strongly, strongly, suggest a full reading.

Educate yourself about depression and suicide; the cost in lives ended, lives of survivers shattered and the cost in human suffering demands it. You may know someone who is contemplating suicide. If so, act, now, go to the internet and learn as much as you can and do something. Take a risk! Be proactive! Save someone you love, even if they get furious with you. You may not be ultimately successful, but you won't feel guilty if they eventually do take their lives.

UPDATE: From SAVE a bit of good news. President Bush signed the GarrettLeeSmith Bill.

President Bush signed into law a bill authorizing $82 million in grants aimed at preventing suicide among young people. The Garrett Lee Smith Memorial Act is named for the son of Oregon Republican Sen. Gordon Smith, who championed the legislation as a tribute to his 21-year-old son, who committed suicide last year. The senator, his wife Sharon, daughter Brittany and son Morgan attended the signing ceremony at the White House.The law authorizes $82 million over three years to provide grants to states, Indian tribes, colleges and universities to develop youth suicide prevention and intervention programs. It emphasizes screening programs that identify mental illness in children as young as sixth-graders, and provides referrals for community-based treatment and training for child care professionals.

Suicide can often be prevented if we all make a significant effort.

In the hopes that this re-posting may help someone or help someone help someone else, I urge all of you to get as much information as you possibly can. Suicide can be prevented most of the time.


Info Theory

Posted by GM Roper at September 22, 2005 07:31 AM | TrackBack
Comments

Excellent article, G.M. I've heard suicide described as a permanent "solution" to a temporary problem. I've known people who have had family members commit suicide, and one where two did within the same family. It has to hurt for the survivors, and they can't fix that problem once it has occured.

I think that people considering suicide could be helped by the friends who could be there for them rather than avoid them. What happens instead? Well, if a woman has marriage problems, who wants to listen to her complaining? Get away. If a businessman is having financial problems and worries, then get away from him, too, because he's too negative. If a child has a maor problem--to them--, well, ignore it, because there are bigger problems in life (although not to that child at that moment.) Those are not the right responses, but I suspect that they are typical.

It would help if people recognized the depression signs and considerations of suicide and involved themselves in being a friend to that person in need. You don't have to have psychological training to be a friend, but that can make as much or more of a difference than counseling sessions, which maybe the person can't even afford at that point.

From one of the links you provided, I saw this passage which tells us, in a fashion, not to judge and to understand and be there for our friends.

"Stigma is the main reason depression remains a topic we avoid. People suffering from depression fear others will think they’re crazy, or weak, or somehow a lesser person. Cultural norms are slowly changing, and people are becoming more aware of the nature of depressive illnesses and their impact on a person’s well being. Education will help reduce stigma and save lives."

It's so sad about Kit's friend and all the others who might have been forgotten, but we can start today to help others have a chance when they have given up hope--just by being there for them.

Posted by Woody at September 22, 2005 08:57 AM

One other point that just occured to me.... Sometimes I review the search words that bring people to this site. I am always confused and upset when I see something like "God help me. I don't want to live." or "I wish I were dead." It happens with too much frequency, especially for a site that doesn't specialize in mental health issues. That just shows me that there are many desperate people out there, and that maybe a search engine and a blog is all that is there for them.

That's not adequate, so look around and see who's hurting and who needs a friend. You're better than an internet site and can make a difference. In addition or until such time, offer your prayers for those who need help even though you don't know their names. When you believe and open your heart, God can answer your prayers and help you reach people who are waiting for you.

Posted by Woody at September 22, 2005 09:43 AM

The right to self-determination undergirds every other freedom you hold dear. While it may be difficult for "survivors" of a suicide to bear the thought that someone for whom they cared deemed life not worth living, ultimately, the joys and the burdens of life are born ONLY by the person living it. That sorrow, while valid, is about THEM, not about the person who chose death. This is not to say that suicide can be a desperate, irrational act. This is to say that suicide is not PER SE a desperate, irrational act. And, while I can't condone those who suicide with zero thought to the consequences (particularly when there are dependents involved), I categorically reject the idea that suicide cannot be a well-thought out, humane response to a life of unremitting mental anguish.

Posted by Anon at September 23, 2005 10:02 AM

"Socrates drinking hemlock"

Not to nit-pick, but Socrates was condemned to death for teaching subversive ideas to the youth of Athens.

Posted by pst314 at September 24, 2005 07:13 PM

Thank you for writing on a difficult subject that is often evaded like the proverbial elephant in the living room.

You reminded me of a painful incident in my college years when I took a summer field course and met another student who was beautiful, intelligent and quiet to whom I was very attracted. I had opportunity to spend significant time with her and perhaps befriend her, but literally ran away instead. In December, I learned that she had committed suicide that fall. It left me with a feeling of guilt and a void of "what might have been".

The wound has never fully healed, but I came to peace that I could not do anything to change the past, but I could try to be more alert and more willing to reach out if I encountered a similar situation in the future. So thank you for reminding me of that resolution.

Posted by civil truth at September 24, 2005 09:07 PM

The jury found Socrates guilty of a several offenses, and his preachings were considered a threat to the state. You have to put yourself in the position of those people, at that time, and in their place to understand their decision. Socrates had a choice other than death, including fines and exile, but he chose to be a martyr instead.

Posted by Woody at September 24, 2005 10:07 PM

Outstanding piece, GM.

What amazes me, is the number of people that get put on an anti-depressants and think that, by itself, will solve their problems. Medication is not the complete answer. Without therapy, medications are not going to do anything but give a severely depressed person enough energy to hurt themselves. Understanding this disease process is a start to the healing process, and this article certainly can serve as a beginning of that understanding.

Good job.

Posted by LASunsett at September 24, 2005 10:47 PM





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