Rove Found Guilty By Dems

Washington (AP)
Following a lengthy trial over the last 12 years, and at a cost of $154,000,000 including $39.47 for defense expenses; the testimony of at least 94,491 reporters and 304,322 Democratic Party operatives, a jury of his peers pronounced Karl Rove guilty of outing someone.

The jury has declined to say who was outed for fear of becoming objects of additional investigations. On juror, who declined to be named stated that the overwhelming evidence produced by the witnesses "had to mean something, surely it did, didn't it?" Asked if he believed any republican witnesses, the juror stated that he hadn't heard any.

Following her election to the Presidencey in 2008 again in 2012 and declairing herself Queen in 2013, Her Royal Majesty Hillary I had outlawed republicans.

Rove was captured trying to escape to raft to Cuba after hiding out for 6 years in Dade County Florida. He attempted to escape to Cuba, the last democracy in the Western Hemisphere, but was captured 6 miles off the Florida Keys in a raft made of papers stolen from the National Archives, Rove said on his capture "Damn leaks did me in."

His conviction included all lesser included charges including an episode of Jay Walking in 1953.

Judge Harry Reid, called the "Executing Judge" by his detractors (both of them surviving by fleeing the country,) is expected to announce the Death Penalty for Rove.

A pro-forma appeal of the conviction will be filed tomorrow and is expected to take the full 15 minutes assigned to it by the appeals courts. Following which, execution by being stoned with old Korans will take place at the federal detention center at Guantanamo Bay.