Humor Time, Military Style

The following are real, uproarously real

AIM TOWARD THE ENEMY." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NOT OUR FRIEND." - US Marine Corps

"CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND." - U.S.A.F. Armament Group

"IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU." - Infantry Journal

"A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR IN WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR UNIT." - Army's magazine of prevention maintenance

"IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU JUST BOMBED" - US. Air Force manual

"TRACERS WORK BOTH WAYS." - U.S. Army Ordnance

"BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID." -Col. David Hackworth

"IF YOUR ATTACK IS GOING TOO WELL, YOU'RE WALKING INTO AN AMBUSH."
-Infantry Journal

"ANY SHIP CAN BE A MINESWEEPER....ONCE." - Anonymous

"NEVER TELL THE PLATOON SERGEANT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO." - Unknown Marine Recruit

"DON'T DRAW FIRE; IT IRRITATES THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU." - Infantry Journal

"IF YOU SEE A BOMB TECHNICIAN RUNNING, TRY TO KEEP UP WITH HIM." -U.S.A.F. Armament Group