June 08, 2006

Satan and Zarqawi: An Initial Interview!

By now, almost anyone with access to the news has heard that Zarqawi has been killed by two 500 lb Mk-82 bombs. No doubt, there are many who welcome this news, just as there are some who are quite angry. But none, I suspect are as angry as Zarqawi after his death when he met someone he did not expect to meet.

"Well, hello there my young fiend, welcome to the inprocessing center."

"Processing center? Who are you and what is that ungodly smell?"

"Why, you are in hell, and that is the delighful smell of brimstone and sulpher. Oh, I love the smell of brimstone in the morning. As I said, welcome!"

"I think I'm in the wrong place, I'm a martyr and have been promised 72 virgins"

Oh no my young fiend, you are in the right place all right. Did you not behead unbelievers who came to Iraq to "help?" Did you not conspire against the Americans and Brits and Iraqi government (such as it is) and others? Are you not the one who promised more bloodshed, mayhem, murder and death to many who did not believe as you do?"

"Well, yes, but that is my mission, given me by Osama, I am in a war, at least I was and I want what was promised."

Zarqawi my young zealot, do you not know that even your faith acknowledges Moses as a prophet? You know, Moses, the old guy with the 10 commandments? Did you not know that it is forbidden to murder, to wantonly kill innocents? Were you not aware that the vast majority of those you murdered or ordered murdered were non-combatants and even your own Wahabbi faith forbids killing Muslims?"

Well, yes, but ... but ... but"

"No buts my young fiend, you are here because you violated the law." You did not think this through did you?"

"Uhh, look, can we make a deal? I know a couple of good ways to make IED's, ways to use children and women and places of worship as shields!"

"Silly, silly boy, where do you think those ideas came from? Allah? Mohammad? Ahhh, I see it's beginning to dawn on you."

"No, it's not fair!"
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! I want my virgins, I want my virgins. I want...."

With a tip of the GM Derby to WuzzaDem for the concept.

Posted by GM Roper at June 8, 2006 06:00 PM | TrackBack

I am happy that WE THE PEOPLE were able to arrange the meeting . . . after all, it was only a matter of time. Osama . . . are you listening?

Posted by Mustang at June 8, 2006 06:36 PM

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! GM it's GREAT. I love it.

Ok now that I am done laughing, I too am proud that the good ole USA had something to do with this. And yes...
Osama Bib Laidnot, consider this your future. Unless I get my hands on you first!!!

Posted by Raven at June 8, 2006 06:44 PM

As I say to the Darling Munchkin when she starts to whine:

"So. How does it feel to want?"

I'm sure all those people he killed and ordered murdered WANTED to live. And so, I will say the only thing I can say to this evil, evil man:

"Rot. In. Hell."

Excellent post, GM!

-- R'cat

Posted by Romeocat at June 8, 2006 06:52 PM

Outstanding Sir, that is a great interview with the pig @#%@%@er and the Devil

Posted by Michael at June 8, 2006 06:55 PM

Now that's an imagination!

Posted by chrys at June 8, 2006 09:11 PM

Heh. Pickin' up Wuzzadem's slack, are ya? :)

Posted by Tuning Spork at June 9, 2006 01:12 AM


Posted by Pixy Misa at June 9, 2006 04:55 AM

And...the conversation that happened very shortly before the "event" of great joy was maybe like this...

Posted by Curt at June 9, 2006 06:29 AM

Little by little.....the evil, the nitwits, the thugs who are trying to pass for real political leaders of real nations......are finding out just who they are messing with. A 500 lb JDAM munition (aka a smart bomb) gives no warning.

The reporters on the news kept saying the LATE terrorist leader, and his immediate "staff" were in a "safe" house. Uh, that wasn't a "safe" house. Ha.

Posted by tad at June 9, 2006 06:31 AM

Well done GM!
Outstanding work, Task Force 145!
We are proud of our American Heroes!
Heh heh! Good point Tad!

Posted by Ben USN (Ret) at June 9, 2006 09:46 AM

Now, if we would just televise the spreading of pig fat all over his body; his being confined to a pig-skin body bag, and buried face down, head pointing west in an unmarked grave. What a great news item on Al-Jazera that would be!

Posted by Vulgorilla at June 9, 2006 10:21 AM

Nice, GM.

Let the bastard spend the rest of eternity burning, and screaming in vain for a cold day in hell.

As Raven said,


Posted by Seth at June 9, 2006 12:55 PM

Love it! Wish that I'd found this sooner, but I passed it along to a few people.

Posted by Always On Watch at June 10, 2006 07:17 PM

Interesting that the monster Zarqawi's last day on earth was 6/6/06.

Good job GM!

Posted by Mike's America at June 10, 2006 07:30 PM

No Problemo Brother

Posted by UncleTim at June 10, 2006 08:56 PM

Great piece, GM!

Posted by Tim Birdnow at June 11, 2006 08:42 AM

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