March 25, 2006

First Church of The Democrats comes to GM's Corner

GM Roper of GM's Corner is fighting cancer. A group of bloggers silently known as the South Park Republicans have joined GM in his fight. to raise money in order to fight cancer. Over the next few weeks, the Liberal Church will be travelling from blog to blog and all donations made will go to aid St. Jude in their fight against cancer. If you would like to donate by snail mail, St. Jude makes it available to do that. Cancer can be a very costly battle and your help is greatly appreciated. Please add a "Fight On" ribbon to your blog. Donations can be made by clicking on St. Jude's while the plate is passed. Find the participants of "Fight On". South Park Republicans

First Church of Democrats

Bringing liberals closer to God since 2006

proudly talking liberalism in the bible belt

Worship songs play -
"Criminalizing the Good Samaritan Liberals" - Choir
"What She Don't Know, Don't Hurt" - Bill Clinton (Solo)
"Bush Brings Misery" - Choir

Welcome to the Liberal church! I am Hillary Clinton and as you may remember, I am the daughter of Isis.
I am giving my second sermon in this lovely church.
You may pay extra taxes and read my previous sermon here. Today, we have a Texas sized Sermon.

Wow, isn't this incredible the way the church has travelled? We don't know where we are from one day to the next, we're all over the place. It's just like our political beliefs! Today we are in Texas, home to GM ROPER who originally inspired the Iraqinam Sixties Protest. Texas, the original Garden of Eden. Remember when Ann Richards was governor? The whole state was beautiful back then, just as you'd imagine the Garden of Eden to be.

There were beautiful green pastures for cows to graze on, trees every where, the air was fresh and all the animals in the world wanted to live here. It was such a wonderful place to raise children. Oh, and taxes, how can we forget taxes? There were plenty of taxes to pay. Every where you turned there were taxes, and what good liberal doesn't love taxes?

But George W(armonger) Bush took the stole the election and became Governor of this beautiful state and all his oil buddies poured in and began to wrecklessly destroy the environment and create global warming. The oil wells are all over the place now, the green pastures are disappearing at 199 yards a day, and in 100 years will look just like Iraq and a future Republican President will launch a unilateral attack against Texas.

Most of the animals have left and moved to other states and countries. Some couldn't get out in time and needed to be saved and know live in safe havens called zoos. Other animals are still stuck in George W. Bush's vast wasted land and are having a hard time adjusting to their new social environment. Armadillos and turtles are constantly wandering around still looking for their animal friends that left Texas. They are so depressed that they often commit suicide by jumping in front of cars. You can see the evidence of their depression by driving down the gas guzzling highways. As if we needed another reason to hate George Bush, destroying our Garden of Eden is another one.

In announcements, our missionaries in Afghanistan and Iraq have successfully committed 4,551 acts of protest against Bush's Islamic Holocaust. It was a decent week as there were 48 more successful protests. Folks, that's the second consecutive weeks that they successful protests have gone down. We need to pray harder because people might start supporting Satan again. Please keep the insurgents in your prayers and please donate when the plate is passed around.

Let us bow our head and make a tax payment. Oh Holy Spirit Che Guevara, give us the strength to our Muslim protestors the power to fight against our military, I mean, we support our military, our fight against Satan. Let their numbers rise so that people will worship Democrats to rule their lives once again! O Holy Spirit Che Guevara, we adore you!

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

While the taxplate gets passed around, Monica Lewinsky will sing a song that she wrote,

on the Tax Plate (St. Jude)

♪♫ 'While he was with me'

♫ 'Osama ran free' ♫♪
♪♫ 'His pals blew a hole'

♫'in the USS Cole'♫♪
♪♫ 'Al Qiada had the power'

♫ 'to bomb the twin towers'

♪♫ 'Can you believe?' ♫
♫ 'while he was with me?'

♫ 'He'd postpone meetings'

♪♫ 'and give me beatings'

♫ 'Can you believe' ♫♪
♪♫ 'he was in love with me?'

Uh, thank you tramm-mmmonica Lewinsky!! Uh, the, well, uh that was different. I was expecting... well, what happened to the song you were supposed to sing about about George W. Bush being like Hitler?

Monica: Uh, he lost, the band lost the music so we had to, um, emprovite.

Emprovite? Oh nevermind.

Anyway, today is our tenth sermon and being that I spoke about Christ earlier this week, many of you are upset with me. I understand that why, after all, Christians are evil and because they shove their moral values down our throats should die.

Christians have been trying to shove their moral values down our throats so on our tenth sermon we are going to talk about the ten ways Republicans try to dictate your lives, our as they like to say, commandments. The Republicans are so open about trying to take away your personal freedom and control your life, they call it 'Commandments'. We'll also review how your Democrat Gods have been fighting tooth and nail to preserve your rights and fighting these tyrannical 'Commandments'. We aren't going to quote them because we don't want to offend anybody, but we will give you the crux of it. This is you're last warning, the following text is vry gruesome and may be considered highly offensive. Remember, this is just the 'R-rated' version and not in it's entire vulgar text.

Have no other gods before me

Now, many of you are cringing, but as you know, this is strictly for educational purposes. Gods can be anybody but that Jesus Christ. Your Gods are preferably liberal politicians and you should say whatever you hear them say on television. Often times it is movie stars and when they speak, thou shalt cheer and post what they say on your blogs with tons of praise. It can even be a rap star or rock star, in which, you dress, act, and do as they say.

Make no images of anything in heaven, earth or the sea, and do not worship or labor for them.

Ha! These Christians want you to believe in a place where you will be happy when you die! They admit it right there. Yet, Heaven can be right here on earth.
Liberals when in power, create a utopia for everybody.
We have many heavens right here on earth, like North Korea, Venezuela, and China. You don't need to wait until you die to be happy, government can make you happier.

Do not vainly use the name of your God

Freedom of speech! Republicans are attacking freedom of speech!

Do no work on the seventh day of the week.

Another way Republicans are trying to instill their dictatorship into our lives is that they expect you to work 6 days a week. We have been able to do away with any work for many, created jobs such as Professional Daytime Talkshow Analyst where people can work when they want to, even out of their own homes, and for many others, have reduced the hours they work.

Honor your parents.

Two words, Parental Notification. Republicans have forced this tyranny into your lives. They try to teach kids not to have sex, force teen age girls to notify their parents when sacrificing their unborn.

Admittedly we haven't fought this issue well enough, but you can do your part. If you see a parent spanking their child in a public place, please promptly notify the Department of Social Services or call the police.
Children ought to be allowed to do as they please.

Okay, now we are getting into the really offensive commandments. This is extremely offensive stuff and where we have really have had major battles with Republicans.

Do not kill.

This is where Republicans have tried to force their tyranny on you the most. Taking away your right to sacrifice your unborn, in fact, I already mentioned that just a few minutes ago. However, we've fought some great battles and we won some, we lost some.

Recently, we lost a great battle to preserve your right to kill, when Republicans forced their tyranny on Tookie Williams. On the other hand, we won a great battle when I was in the Whitehouse. Remember Waco?
Did we not fight for the right to kill? Didn't Ted Kennedy fight for the right to kill? What about Saddam, didn't we stand up for his right to kill? Did we not try and fight for Saddam? It's a great war and the battles are plentiful, but WE SHALL OVERCOME!

Do not commit adultery

Is there any question why I brought both my loving husband and Monica to service today?

Do not steal

Stealing is a right that we have. We should be able to take what ever we want from who ever we want because we're special. We deserve those things.

Do not give false testimony against another

How many times have we given false testimony? How many times have you defended our misrepresentations? It's okay for liberals to lie, we are more important.
Again, now you know why I brought my loving husband Bill, as an example.

Do not desire another's wife or anything that belongs to another

See! Here the Republicans go again. This is about the rich. They don't want you to want what they have but you should want it. Not only should you want it, but you should stand up and demand the right to it. You should stand up and demand that the government take it from them and give it to you. Your special! You deserve everything! You are more important! Be envious of the rich, desire what they have in your heart of hearts. It should belong to you and they should be sleeping in a gutter somewhere! Vote your Democrat Gods into power so they can provide you with everything that the rich used to have. Democrats in government are the great providers, not some silly Christian God! Hate the rich! It's your right to hate the rich. Nobody should have as much money as the Sam Walton heirs do, except for your liberal Gods.

Let us bow our heads and don't forget your tax payment. Holy Spirit Che Guevara, please give us the power to fight the Republicans from their tyrannical ten commandments. Keep our freedom intact. We pray that you would put the your socialist angels in control of that wicked government in the evil land called America. We ask this in your name Holy Spirit Che Guevara.

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.

You may come forward now and seek redemption by clicking on the link that says St. Jude.

Last Weeks Sermon VIIII

Please help fight cancer. Join the "Fight On" campaign and help fight cancer. You can donate to St. Jude by clicking on the St Jude Link.

Give to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

Posted by GM Roper at March 25, 2006 06:04 AM | TrackBack

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