A New Compendium of Work Daffynitions

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3 ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a Cube farm, and peoples heads pop up over the walls to see whats going
on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generations answer to the couch
potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless
because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from ones
workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying
but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and
Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404: Someone whos clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message 404 Not Found, meaning that the requested document could not
be located. (For those in Toronto, its also Hwy 404... destination can
not be located.)

16. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

17. OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that youve just made a BIG mistake.

18. WOOFS: Well-Off Older Folks.

Update: Jim Hitchcock suggests an additional one. So, in the interests of bi-partisan humor:

19. DOMINOES THEORY: When all your attempts at reasoning fall flat, so you give up and order a pizza.

Another Update: The old Daddy-Guy forgot to give a tip of the GM Chapeaux to the source of the humor; his beloved daughter.... So, Princess Jenni, A tip of the Daddy-Guy's Chapeaux to you!