May 17, 2005
Kinky Friedman to Bush--"Burn Cuba's fields!"
California could have a run for its money for the goofiest governor if Kinky Friedman is successful in his bid to be elected governor of Texas in 2006. I think that we need to examine this person who could follow in George W. Bush's footsteps if elected Texas governor.
First, an overview of Friedman may be in order. His father was a professor at the University of Texas, where Kinky studied psychology in the 1960s. His real first name is Richard but his college buddies nicknamed him Kinky for his hair--which seems to have traumatized him ever since.
After college, he formed a band. The band played both kinds of music--country and western. He named it (HE named it--not me!)The Texas Jewboys, whose repertoire included such classics as "They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore" and "Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in bed." You may have heard these offered on the PBS fund raisers for the $500 level. His music career included a stint touring with Bob Dylan.
He moved to a writing career that took off in the mid 1980s. He has authored seventeen mystery novels in which he is the main character, a private detective. He has written for Rolling Stone and Texas Monthly magazines. In the Texas Monthly, his anti-hunting piece (in Texas of all places!) resulted in the most hate mail and canceled subscriptions in the magazine's history. The publisher didn’t fire him saying that the publicity was worth it.
In an early fray into politics, Friedman ran for justice of the peace with the slogan, "If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!" Even with that platform, he lost the election.
Throughout his career he has expressed his views on life:
• But if you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right.
• Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her.
• I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.
• I'd be a Buddhist if it weren't for Richard Gere.
• On the whole, I preferred cats to women because cats seldom if ever used the word "relationship".
• If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
• Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged Wasps have to dress up like a pimp.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
President Bush invited Friedman to spend the night at the White House. Before going Friedman emailed the president: "I have four women, four editors, and four dogs. Can I bring them all?" Bush replied, "Just the dogs." After the visit, Friedman said, "I didn’t sleep in the Lincoln bedroom, but I did give George W. a Cuban cigar. He looked shocked, but I told him that we weren’t supporting the Cuban economy, we were burning their fields. George W. smoked the cigar."
Friedman is dead serious in his bid to be governor. He hired the campaign manager that helped Jesse Ventura win the governor's seat in Minnesota. His slogan is "Why the Hell Not?" Considering alternatives, it's hard to argue with that.
Education is the biggest part of his platform, and he would pay for it by legalizing casino gambling. He's not against the death penalty but is against innocent people being executed, which spoils half the fun in Texas. On outlawing gay marriage he says, "I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us."
Kinky Friedman is neither a Republican nor a Democrat, but the Republicans are pushing him to join the Democrats.
Posted by GM Roper at May 17, 2005 11:40 AM | TrackBackYou forgot, ""A fool and his money are soon elected. " - Kinky Friedman"
Woody, this guy's a hoot. He also wants to pass a new law in Tx titled, "No teacher left behind."
LMAO
I thought you were making all this stuff up!
Too funny, Woody. Too funny.
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Isn't everything that I say real?! Glad you enjoyed it.
Woody
Posted by Mustang at May 17, 2005 05:45 PM
Kinky is clearly the guy who would get to the bottom of things, and revel in being there. Love him.
Posted by jim hitchcock at May 17, 2005 05:53 PM
Nice job Woody... No kidding...
Here's something Christian as an antidote to this Kinky stuff you've been posting. It's from the Great King of the Universe, Cosmic Justice of the Peace and the next candidate for God's Messenger On Earth (GOP-USA) Rev. Sun Myung Moon's little Beltway Old Media Artifact, The Washington Times, so I presume it's more or less okay with the folks here in the Heartland.
College ad to protest Bush visit
By Julia Duin
THE WASHINGTON TIMES
One-third of the professors at an evangelical Christian college in Grand Rapids, Mich., are taking out a large ad in a local newspaper Saturday to protest President Bush's commencement speech.
"As Christians, we are called to be peacemakers and to initiate war only as a last resort," the ad will say. "We believe your administration has launched an unjust and unjustified war in Iraq."
The 130 signatories, which include 20 staff members, work at Calvin College. Founded in 1876 as a school for pastors of the Christian Reformed Church, it now is one of the nation's flagship schools for a Christian liberal-arts education.
"No single political position should be identified with God's will," says the ad, which also chastises the president for "actions that favor the wealthy of our society and burden the poor."
Christians are to be characterized by love and gentleness, it adds, but "we believe that your administration has fostered intolerance and divisiveness and has often failed to listen to those with whom it disagrees."
Moreover, says the letter, set to run in the Grand Rapids Press, the Bush administration's environmental policies "have harmed creation," and it asks the president "to re-examine your policies in light of our God-given duty to pursue justice with mercy."
Although Calvin College President Gaylen Byker called the Bush visit "an extraordinary opportunity," the Chimes, the college newspaper, urged the 900 graduates to wear armbands protesting the visit. The publication pointed out that the president had been looking for a speech venue in Michigan, a state he failed to carry in 2000 and 2004.
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Thank you, reg. This is an unexpected visit and compliment, which I appreciate, even if it came after you had a couple of shots of Ezra Brooks--and, you probably needed a couple of more after reading my entries.
My "vast experience" has shown that most seminaries and religious colleges have personalities that place undue indoctrination towards liberal political philosophies over Biblical teachings. Professors, whether at religious or secular colleges, are still professors--which translates into a liberal and political slant on almost every subject. Another example of religious leaders who place liberal politics above doctrine is the National Council of Churches. As you must know, unless an organization is specifically conservative, it will almost always end up being liberal. If one can label a college as religious because it is within the walls of church buildings, then I'm a car when I'm in my garage. What you see on the outside doesn't really tell you what's on the inside.
Thanks for visiting and be sure to check back. I might be having some more valuable prizes, and I still have some Richard Simmons tapes left to give away.
Woody
Posted by reg at May 17, 2005 09:54 PM
Someone just gave me another quote of Friedman's, which I want to pass along.
"What's the distance between Berlin and Paris?
A four day march."
Maybe we should appoint Kinky Friedman our next U.N. Ambassador.
Posted by Woody at May 18, 2005 10:43 AM
Ok, I admit it, Friedman is good, and he does have the advantage of being alive, but for me I have to say my favorite candidate was:
Pat Paulson for President!
Sure, he's passed on now and probably passed from some people's memories but, ah, what memories!
http://www.alan.com/photogallery/1996/pat_paulson.html
In fact, you can relive some of his greatest moments as a Presidential candidate by visiting his, still, functional official website:
Here's a sample of his thinking, one of his "editorials":
Auto Safety
February 26, 1967
(This Editorial was Performed in Double Talk.)
Are the summer soldiers in the war against auto safety turning their backs on that fierce and terrible winter campaign which comes in any war of this fighting drain?
Should we regroup our forces and advance or should we move to the bilge part back? The crux is a stimulating ridge on the lee side yet tabled on the other.
First there are only two ways to go. One way is neither right nor wrong and the other way isn't.
We know that taking a firm grade is pledganous and facts will bare us out.
Certainly the National Traffic Agency will basic its alternate standards for 1968 and no, I repeat, no automotive company will have gretched this properly in order to formalize.
In spite of these revolutionally eliminations should be incorporated for the inacquices of further waging.
We at the Smothers Brothers Corporation feel strongly about this and believe a continuing reaction is necssary for reasons involved.
We demand a step by the giants of the Auto Industry should all, for these many years.
We suggest simply lowering the statistics which implies we stop counting accidents. This is a necessity for all who trudge and all those who glog the gains of life and I think we should all ask ourselves this question - How Much?
Thank you,
Patrick L. Paulsen, V.P.
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2MS, It's amazing that Paulsen's political web site is still going after he passed away. Talk about persistence! But, why not? The dead still vote for the Democrats.
Woody
Posted by too many steves at May 18, 2005 12:52 PM
Great stuff, Woody!
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Thank you, rosedog. As they say in these parts, "Si se puede!"
Come back to visit again.
Woody
Posted by rosedog at May 18, 2005 01:35 PM
