Yes parents, Cactus Cuz© can solve all of your problems with nary a turn of his extra fine hair (errr, uhhh, thorns!)

Yes Mom and Dad Cactus Cuz© can solve almost ALL OF YOUR CHILD REARING WORRIES, why even the cute little tykes will be worried about misbehaving 'cause they don't want a whoopin with Cactus Cuz'© hands.

Let us see what the person on the Street has to say about this AMAZING new companion:

Announcer: "You Sir, can you spare a moment"
Person: "Uh yeah, what do you want?"
Announcer: "May I have your name please and what you do for a living?"
Person: "My name's Ogre and when I'm not blogging, I beat trouble makers with my club."
Announcer: "And what a fine club that is. Sir, you have watched Cactus Cuz© in action now for a few minutes, please tell us what you think."
Ogre: "Looks to me like a cute kid... I don't need one, but there are a couple of kids in my neighborhood that I haven't et yet. They could probably use one."
Announcer: "Thank you sir and may I remark what fine braided locks you have, and those muscles...and...and... are those RED SOX you are wearing? How Charming!"
Ogre: "Mrs. Ogre accidentally put my YANKEE SOCKS in with the red towels and tell GM not to be making wise cracks about those Boston players or my beloved YANKEES."
Announcer: "Uh, yes SIR, I'll tell him immediately."
Ogre: "See that you do, I wouldn't want to have to lay my club upside the crown of his noggin."

Yes Mom and Dad, Cactus Cuz© can help around the home too. Cactus Cuz© can do dishes, laundry, even clean out the attic and garage!

Announcer: "Here is another passer by. Officer, can you help us a moment, please, just a moment?"
Officer: "OK, but hurry up, I'm on my way to investigate a felonious pun."
Announcer: "Of course, Sir, I just want to know what you think of Cactus Cuz© the new device brought out at great expense by GM-Rop-Co™?"
Officer: It appears to be a little green prickly fellow. There is mud on it's shoe, on close examination it must be a bit of dirt from the infield at Fenway Park. Too, based on the color, the amount of sunlight it is getting is in perfect measure with the amount of moisture. Lastly, there is a bit of lint on the thorns of the left hand indicating that it brushed up to that Ogre guy."
Announcer: "Officer, that is an incredible display of intuitiveness. How on earth did you figure all that out CORRECTLY I might add."
Officer: "Easy, I'm the SmarterCop and like that fellow GM, a REAL RED SOX FAN. By the Way, did you know that GM had declared Baseball War against the (shudder-ugh) Yankees?"
Announcer: "Well, Sherlock Holmes has nothing on you SIR!"

Announcer: "Here comes a very attractive young lady. Ma'am may I have a moment of your time?"
Lady (singing): "If I could put time in a bottle."
Announcer: "Uhh, yes ma'am. Can you tell us who you are, what you do and what you think of our Cactus Cuz©?"
Lady (singing): "I am Songstress, I blog, I love my Hubby-Head and I really don't know anything about the Cactus Cuz©."
Announcer: Cactus Cuz© is the newest most complete and most wonderful of playmates for children to come along in decades."
Songstress: "Well, Hubby-Head and I really have no need for a Cactus Cuz© because we are superlative people and we only have kitty daughters (SO FAR)."
Announcer: "Uhhh, yes ma'am. But if you did have a child, could you see yourself with a Cactus Cuz©?"
Songstress (singing): "Where are you going, my little one, little one. Where are you going...?"

Announcer: "And there you have it ladies and gentlemen, Moms and Dads, Boys and Girls. Three individuals, each different, each praising (uhhh, yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it) Cactus Cuz©?" Be the FIRST on you block to have one. If you call today.... 1-800-555-1212, (repeat) 1-800-555-1212 we will send you your very own Cactus Cuz©? at a cost of only $9999.99 a discount of 2341%. Can you beat that? Of course not. Ask for our easy 30 day payment plan."

"Until Next Time, this is Jon Cameroon Sway-zee saying 'So Long For Now'"