May 29, 2008

Reverently Enter...

... The Church of Gaea The Green!

Come o' Goddess Gaea, share with me your secrets that I may save the earth from the rif-raff and the hoi-polloi! 

Well, hello your bloatedness, look, how many times to I have to tell you to friggin CAPITALIZE the word Earth? 

OK, let me start over.  Come o' Goddess Gaea, share with me your secrets that I may save the Earth from the rif-raff and the hoi-paloi! 

That's better al. You know, you sure are putting on the poundage!

Its just a few ounces O' Goddess.  Besides, I'm capturing carbon to return it to the earth when I die.  It is my duty.  Besides, I'm getting rich and can afford to eat anything I want and no one can criticize me for it.  And I'm getting rich and live in a big house.  All good things come to those who labor in the gardens of Gaea. 

Oh Please!  Save it for the rubes!  Listen, I have a question:  How come so many are questioning anture... anthro... arthro... man made global warming?  Why haven't you got Kyoto signed yet.. sitting on your lard ass?

Anthropogenic Global Warming? 

Yeah, that.  Smart Alec!

Well, its all those damn bloggers, deniers, rogue scientists, authors, climatologists.  It's not really my fault you know, I mean after all, I wrote a book, did a movie - got an Oscar for that, even got the Nobel Peace Prize.  I've worked damn hard for you Greenie! 

GREENIE... why you pig headed old has been!  That is Strike ONE

I'm sorry, don't do that again please!  OK, look, I guess I can get a few more lectures in; the MSM always likes my lectures as long as I don't let them ask any questions.

You should have been doing that all along OWL GORE!

DON'T CALL ME THAT DAMN YOU!!!

That's Strike Two Chubby!

Nooooo!

S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Sorry, S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Sorry, R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Really S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Sorry, S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Soooooo S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Sorry!!!!!

 

That's better. OK, here's the plan.  Sell your house and cars and fly commercial.  Give up the fattening foods, sell all of your carbon trading stock so that people will see that you're really serious about this thing.

Sell my... give up my.... now wait a minute ya big green bossy goddess!

STRIKE THREE TUBBO!

 

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

I wonder if John McCain or Barack Obama would be interested in this job?

 

Damn, she turned me into carbon.  Now how can I make a living?

Posted at 07:12 PM | Comments (37) | Add Comment
Post contains 404 words, total size 6 kb.

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It's funny to think that one day in the far distant future that Al Gore's remains will be part of an oil reserve.

Here's something that you'll like...

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MILAN, Italy — First it was the film and the book. Now the next stop for Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" is opera.  La Scala officials say the Italian composer Giorgio Battistelli has been commissioned to produce an opera on the international multiformat hit for the 2011 season at the Milan opera house.

An opera on "An Inconvenient Truth?!"  It must be a comedy or a tragedy.

 

 

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