November 24, 2007

The "I Trust Hillary" Chronicles

Joe Ward had a problem that no one should go through, though thousands do.  He had a desperately ill kid who needed a bone marrow transplant and well, watch the video...

Now, I for one am glad that Joe's son got the transplant.  I'm less delighted that the hospital "absorbed" the costs, because after all, those costs will be borne by someone else whether through higher costs for medications, higher fees for the use of surgical suites etc.  Hospitals may be "not for profit" but they are not perpetual losers either.  So, with that in mind, I started searching for other people that Hillary may (or may not) have helped and the list is amazing.

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Hello, my name is Susan McDougal.  I had been spending time in a Federal lockup and wanted to be home with my family so I could bake cookies.  The Warden said "Ain't gonna happen."  So I turned to Hillary Clinton.  She called back the next day and said that the prison would absorb the rest of the sentence.  Thank you Hillary, I'll trust you with all of my future legal problems.

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Hi there!  My name is Marc Rich.  Not too long ago, I had to leave home because of some questionable dealings with the IRS and some businesses I directed.  I wanted to return, but there was just no way.  So, I called Hillary.  She called back the next day and said that the United States Government would absorb the costs associated with me having to leave the country.  Hillary gets my vote for president and I think I'll donate some spare change to the Clinton Library while I'm at it.  For those of you that don't think you can trust Hillary, I trusted her with my freedom and she came through.

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Good Morning America, My name is Wolf Blitzer.  Just prior to the last Democratic Debate, I was accused of planning to throw softball questions to candidate Clinton.  My feelings were very hurt by this as I feel that I am a really tough questioner.  I called Hillary's campaign to complain about the harsh treatment I was getting, and she called back the next day and told me not to worry.  CNN would absorb a lot of criticism for too large a garden and too many plants and I would be dropped from the spotlight.  Wow, am I glad I called Hillary!  Some of you out there may not trust this great lady, but I trusted her with my reputation as a tough newsman  and I'm glad I did.

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Hello, my name is well, you really don't need to know my name, I'll just tell you that I was one of America's sexiest presidents.  Not too many years ago, I had problems with a young woman who alleged that she had inappropriate sex with me.  Well, I'm going to say this for the last time.  I did not have... Oh, sorry, wrong speech. 

I called Hillary to complain about all the criticism I was getting and she said not to worry.  She called back the next day and said that the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy would absorb all the vitriol and that my Party would hold me up as a president of peace and prosperity.  Thanks Hillary, I'll vote for you.

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My Name is Hillary Clinton and I approve of the above messages.  America's fertilizer business will absorb all the bull shit produced by these ads.

H/T to Ann Althouse via Glenn Reynolds

Posted at 11:38 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
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November 08, 2007

The Jihad On Panties - And Other Things Offensive To Some Muslims

Isn't that a nice picture of the barbell?  What do you mean what barbell?  Oh, you're looking at the (shudder-gasp) pink panties and the bottom filling them aren't you?  You wicked westerner.  Allah will surely smite you down for thinking unclean thoughts. 

And so was launched the panty jihad.  Actually, my co blogger The Woodster (Woody to you regular readers)sent me an email pointing out this blog and the entry "The List of Things That Offend Muslims" and an entertaining blog entry it is.  I highly recommend reading it, and the rest of the blog is pretty danged good as well.  But, I regress. 

One of the random items I clicked on was the Panty Jihad and that took me to a Front Page Mag site with an article on a company called "Sloggi, a women’s underwear manufacturer owned by Triumph International of Zurich, Switzerland.  (Be sure and read the FP link or the rest of this post won't make any sense to you unless you know GM pretty well by now.) Now, this Front Page article is from June of '04 so while dated, it shows a tendency, in England at least, to bow down to some one's sense of being "offended."  OK, I can buy being offended, but I have severe doubts if the advertising council would take any action regarding Sloggi advertisements near churches or synagogues. Well maybe not. So at any rate, I found a picture of a dumbell (above and to the left if you look hard enough you will find it) that I though looked pretty nice. It's black or purple black depending on your color sense and it weighs about 10 pounds.  Not a lot, but enough to tone your arms somewhat.  At any rate, I am sure that an advertisement of a barbell is no big thing and could't possibly offend anyone.  I'v found some other things I think are pretty neat, and I'll list them also with the help of Sloggi.  Hold on to your....er.... hat?

 This is a Red DumbBell, I don't know how much it weighs but it can't be too heavy given the small size of the ends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I found some office tools.  Paper clips are good to hold pieces of paper together, if you take out one bend, you can scratch the inside of your ear too.  Sometimes, just linking them together is fun.

Of course, pens and pencils are what make an office go around.  This one in pink looks good.

 

 

 

Now, women do indeed like to use makeup and I thought that some pictures of some really good natural light light bulbs would just perfect for the ladies to look at before they uhhhh, buy.

 

 

 

 

 

While looking through the sporting goods, I found this green arrow.  You know that Archery is one of the oldest sports around and centuries ago, a good archer was to be praised and rewarded.  Also, this is a green arrow which reminded me of the comic book.  Interesting as to what will bring back memories isn't it?

 

 

 

 

 

And lastly, on my shopping tour I had a couple of keys made.  You know, sometimes you have keys and have absolutely no idea what to do with them or where they fit.  I've got three on my key ring right now... don't remember where they go in the slightest.  Guess I'll just add them to my 215 other keys in the box .

Well, I hope all of you have enjoyed this little excursion.  I've tried to find things interesting to look at, that could possibly go on a billboard without offending anyone, especially muslims.  So, I'll bid you farewell for the evening and hope you have a great day.  Bye now!!!

Posted at 09:58 PM | Comments (52) | Add Comment
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